At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
