i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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