we're making bets on your personal life
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
