Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
