Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
