i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
