Only a mothe r could love this liver
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
