we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
