My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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