i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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