Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
