Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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