No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
