So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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