found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
