he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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