I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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