Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
