we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
