I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
