they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
