I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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