just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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