Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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