please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
