official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
