He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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