I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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