its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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