I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
