every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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