Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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