After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
