i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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