Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
