apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
