What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
