Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
