screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
