she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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