your parents love me but you hate me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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