Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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