If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
