the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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