I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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