Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
