I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
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Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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