Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
