Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I hate your face
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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