Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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