I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I deserve this hangover.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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