White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
