i think i have two assholes
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
