a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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