you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
