I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
