I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
