Where did you get a picture of my penis
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
