I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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