Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
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it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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